before the bole era…

My Cousin: Pssst…ARod… want some bole?
ARod: Stromboli?
My Cousin: no, man, bole… want some?
ARod: bole, bole, bole… i dunno, what does it do for me?
My Cousin: Well, basically, I don’t know what it does for you… and maybe it’s bad for you, and maybe, perhaps, possibly it’s wrong and even stupid, like hanging around with Madonna… but I think you should do it.
ARod: I’m game. Let’s go for it!

later during the bole era…

My Cousin: ARod, how you like the bole so far?
ARod: I dunno, not sure what it’s doing for me… I’m too young and stupid, you know.
My Cousin: Yeah, I know. Me too. I’m so ignorant I don’t even know I’m stupid.
ARod: You got that right, cuz. I’m so young, I don’t even know how stupid I am. Maybe one day I will know. You know everyone is doing this stuff, though I haven’t seen anyone do it.
My Cousin: Yeah man, everyone is on the stuff. You have to be, to average over 50 homers a year.
ARod: Yo cuz, those homers are all me… I work extremely hard… you got that. If anybody asks why the sudden outburst, what do you say?
My Cousin: I say ARod is on the bole?
ARod: No! Man you are stupid, even stupider than me. You say, “ARod is NOT on the bole… he does it with hard work.” You got that?
My Cousin: Yeah, I say, “ARod works hard on the bole… right?”
ARod: Man, you’re so stupid. Good thing nobody will ever catch us.

at the end of the bole era…

My Cousin: ARod, they’re cracking down… we better stop the injections.
ARod: No, I don’t want any crack… you got the bole with you?
My Cousin: Man, you’re hooked! I never thought I would become smart first.
ARod: I’m not hooked! So you got the bole, right?
My Cousin: You better watch yourself, you averaged 52 homers these last three years. The commish might notice.
ARod: Don’t worry about Bud… I slap a goofy hat on him and fly him around in my jet for a few hours and he’s like a little boy in a candy store.
My Cousin: Listen to me cuz, we have to stop now.
ARod: Hey, cuz, come back here and give me my bole, or you’re going to be in for some pain.
My Cousin: I aint got the bole. That’s it. It’s over! No mas! No mas!
ARod: ouch! What’s this crick in my neck? Must be from chasing my stupid cousin. I gotta stop this.
My Cousin: I’m not stupid anymore cuz, I’m just ignorant. But you’re still stupid and ignorant.
ARod: Okay, okay, let’s get past this. Forgive and forget. Now, let’s practice getting choked up in front of the mirror.
My Cousin: Okay… great. No man, when you get choked up the tears have to well up in your eyes.
ARod: Like this?
My Cousin: No man, keep practicing. And don’t forget the long pause for dramatic effect.
ARod: Right, right.